alicewonderland

Jello

2009-04-11T20:14:01Z

Just got back from Atlanta. Now I have to go to work....Sucky but I will live. Weird Couple days...Happy Easter

Hello happy campers!!!!!!

2009-04-07T17:54:49Z

Update from Savannah Ga. I've been living happy as hell in Savannah for the past Year and 9 months or so.... I dont miss the snow of Wisconsin at all. I'm working as a bartender at one of our local strip clubs.... It is a lot of fun most of the time....(little bit of a love/ hate type thing) I love to hate it sometimes ha ha... No but really I am very happy to have made the move and it really is everything I had hoped for...Anyone that knows me will tell you that I have been in love with this city long before I moved here...(I am still very much in love with her) from the beach to all parks she is my long lost love and I feel at rest here....(Like a part of me has always been here.) I miss my parents and Angela A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! but besides that everything is sweet tits.... I plan on updating my journal more now.... so check me out for more fun updates from Savannah! I'm old school...Fuck face book and myspace....Live journal all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!

ello!

2007-10-17T20:23:47Z

I said ello!

If ever there was such a peace come over me....

2005-05-27T16:05:06Z

Warmth..Mmmmmmm ( u all scare me with your crazy bitch shit)...K..it is what it is...as my Dad aways says. We will see.. it's all on a sliding scale I think. Happy Birthday yo and so on..ect and stuff later..... bye

jelly fish milk shake fistybuns

2005-05-09T17:40:07Z

Tick, Tick, Tick and there it goes...boom. Too much man...much too much man. You took to much..man Your going to start to get the fear man.

I wonder

2005-05-03T17:39:53Z

If I died tonight. If the game stopped right here would everyone be happy how they played? In life may those who love us love us and those that dont may God turn their ankles so we may know them by their limping.

Red

2005-04-26T17:53:04Z

There is a pattern to how things shake out. Sometimes we dont think so. It is our lack of patence that makes us want everything now. Maybe we think that we are going to die and all we have is now. However we feel about that doesnt matter. There is more than today more then right now. Things make so much more sence on the whole. Nothing fits or looks right when it is two inches from your face. You cant see the forest from the trees. Point being that there is a pattern to how and why things shake out. Even if you dont like your roll of the dice, the game goes on and soon it's your turn again. This time you can make it right. And even if you do not. Dont worry your next turn is on it's way. Take care of the you and everything will follow. Life's a bitch and then you die right? Well maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe your the bitch and life isn't so bad. All is quiet for now.

shower shower everywhere and too many babies in sight

2005-04-13T22:37:16Z

Stuff is crazy busy. Everyone wants a piece of me. It's ok things will calm down after the shower but shit. Step off my ass yo. I;m not sure what the future holds but I am sure that it will be a-ok. Whatever will be will be. bye(me) such is life

things I like to call STUFF

2005-03-30T19:27:10Z

So stuff is cool.....Things are coming around I think i think. Savannah was great. I walk in the park minus some girl scouts.. All clear on the home fronts as far as I can tell. But what do I knoww something always brews.. And so do I that reminds me I have to whip up a new batch soon. Objects may appear closer then they are.

Donkey chicken monkey fish

On to chicago fun fun...swimming, pokering, what ever your in to.

yea bye yo

wtf

2005-03-07T20:06:37Z

You know what. I dont have time for this shit. Maybe my first reaction was the best. I long for a simpler time. My Plate isn't that big to start with. Saw some red flags the other day. Just stopping to think about the way this is supposed to be. And how it really is. I lack the dull sandy out look that I must need to get through life. Life is to short I want to be happy. I think I need to clean out some shit from my closet. Maybe I need to clean and throw out alot of shit. I feel myself going to a place that feels so familar. I will not build myself a prison or let you build one around me. When star dust blows away here I am. Just the way I always have been. Thought maybe differnt but no Dont think so. Notthis time. Not ever. Fuck you too.

MMMMmmm.....Gummy bears

2005-03-02T20:57:59Z

How would a gummy bear act if we had one here right now. Stay down stay down. So real to me, so soon to me. Who better than me draw into be seen. Stay down stay down. Spread gently for me. A piece of gum will not hold peace this time. (spelled those the way I wanted) I'll give way soon enough in spite of myself.

And if I ever wanted you back to me too long now.
And if I ever wanted you back to me it's too long now.
To long to be ours, so late to be. To late to be gold.
Stay home Stay Home...Now
To long nOw.
SO LONG NOW.

Things come around. They do They do. One door opens and another one closes. Belive me touched by a god touched by you. You know I never asked you to belive in me. It's all I can do. The things you never say. Wanting you is all I can ever do. The things you never say. Belive me if you ever trust.

This never happend Never did
It's not a memory. Never happend never will.
There is no way to prove this isn't real.
Never happend never will
Your not a victim I'm not to blame
Break him down Break her down
Forse him down forse her down
If you play queitly I'll let you go.
If you play quietly no one here will ever, ever know.
Never happend never will

My hate takes my hand. You can be so damn ugly.
I said I'm fine. Walk the line. One more bottle just to wash the day away.

I'm fine I dont want to talk about this any more. Just one match be so easy. I said I'm fine. Heard the shot ring out..Seamed so far way. I'm into everything, everything.

And you rape me of my intellect. I'll Give you pieces of my Pride. Then I'm naked. Is this what you thought you'd find. It looks alot like me.
Dig it any where you want!

Why now brown cow?

2005-03-01T23:39:44Z

Does the statement too late now, ring a bell? Because it is too late now. So sad But I dont have the time to think about it now. Too bad so sad, it's too fucking late now..bye
They suffer they do

live from atlanta

2005-02-27T15:50:10Z

hi. Stuff is cool no snow here. Be back soon. Everyone be cool dont do anything thing that I would do..ya ok you can i always have too much fun. Stay cool and I know you guys back in wisconsin will. Because it's always cool there.

Who is your loyalty 2?

2005-02-21T20:01:25Z

Is it to me? No. Is it to Yourself...that's what I thought. It's always fun and funny when things are good but what happens when they are not? Where will your loyalty be then? Anger and jealousy run so many people's lives. Who runs yours. Do you want me 2? I cant be everywhere or do everything everytime but I can do and be and have somethings sometime. So here it comes my big words to live by..Oh and this is so much bigger then me...Think big always..but that's not it. Here it is.

We must strive for a balance between instinct and reason. (Fuck off i know that I cant spell but I can do other things that make up for it.) That goes for all of us. To love is like to live all reason aganist it and all healthy instinct for it. (God's little joke on us all) Great people find that their love life is often the only unstable part of their lives. Dont worry love is just a chemical imbalance. I'm sure they will make a pill to cure us all from this madness. I know so many poor souls that are aflicted with this problem. It can reck your life if it is untreated. I know one poor soul that suffers from its effects right now. (and no it's not me..I have an emunity 2 it) Who am I kidding I'm in love with two differnt girls right now. They are so differnt but I love then so. Maybe if I ask them nicely they will let me have them at the same time. Hope

Oh the mushyness I will have to vomit now before work. Back to hate I'm so much better at that. I have three fuckers in mind that must be killed. No not killed just stabbed. Once or twice would be nice. Careful things come back to haunt you. Like me. Fair warning I'm oh so protective of my freinds. Lay off my cool-aid or suffer. Just the right amount of ties to bound then kill you. Dont you think?

Who knew that pigs can fly!

2005-02-17T00:04:46Z

My towels are out on the line in a snow storm. It's all in how you layer the pictures...All for the maximum effect. Your crazy like a fox. The truth I can honestly say does not always set you free. The truth can just as easy form a prison. Me I belive in brutal honesty when possible other wise avoidence works well too. Things are always the same until one day when they change. Hope

Happy Love fest!

2005-02-14T20:05:38Z

Ya...All that mushy stuff..It's funny how things work out. That is why I am a big fan of porn. What can I say...It's never that bad as long as you have your clit!

its funny not in that ha ha way but in that sad for u way

2005-02-07T20:30:17Z

How quickly you are forgoten..Your fucking sad And I'm just to happy for your shit. What a wonderful day today. Going to see my girls tonight maybe. Things are just swell. I feel like i'm i'm in this crazy windy cave. Maybe i have just fallen down the rabbit hole again. I need a bath in milk.

Yeah twice

2005-01-25T19:59:13Z

Strange dayz I've been having? Things havent felt normal for a long time...Or even real....stuff is cool though or it will be soon. Any one want to play a game?

what on earth does this say?

2005-01-09T20:33:05Z

I try to make sence but I cant what a strange turn of events hey? Just when you think you got a hold of it wham...boot to the back of the head but in a strange the devil is trying to taught me kind of way...

Scream Yes if you want more

2005-01-05T19:59:45Z

really thats all I have to say today..hate you all die. Execept my girls I love you lots. You can scream for me anytime...!

you fat kid in the bakery

2004-12-30T20:13:37Z

All you ever fucking want is your cake....You want it to have and to eat and to lick and have on hold..Just more cake your not even happy with your cake and my cake and someone elses cake....You want everyones cake..Just eat eat eat you fucking pig. With me as an exception I dont know anyone that is as over indulgent in everything. Your life must be one big walk in the fucking park. LIke they say the company you keep reflects on you. What does that say about me. I must be a self indulgent ass hole...Like you but I already know that about myself. Lay off the cake bitch...It really adds up over the years...a minute on the lips..etc. Die just die dont stop dying til your dead. Things will catch up with you..then your life wont be all cake and happiness. I'm not feeding your stomach anymore.......

Pain fades happiness is what we will remember

2004-12-26T01:28:27Z

I hope...My emptiness could eat us all alive....All I can control is myself right...I have no other control in this world so I have to become a master of myself. Only one problem with that...here we go again. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I'm always looking for things I dont want to find and I always know how this will end. I know how this will end. I know how this will end. Jealosy makes people do stupied out of charitor things bad things sad pathitc things. I know I cant spell fuck off. If you can just take yourself out of the moment and move yourself away you can regain your brain and become your zen self. But at that moment of jealosy God the fucking sadest shit takes you over. However the good news is that jealosy is not real...No No I want you all to know Jealosy is not real just your own selfish insecurity mirored on someone else....Zen is the key . Whatever wil be will be. The only control we have is ourselves that is why....It is even more important not to let the jealosy make you do shit in the moment. It's not real and we can only handle ourselves. Have some respect self and dont make an ass ot of yourself because after all that is all we have control over ourselves......!

yes

2004-12-19T23:21:05Z

Everything is cool..for now last night went well....So the world is safe but for how long..how long....what's that fall out boy?

yea

2004-12-17T15:11:39Z

That will power thing is a bitch right...wish I had some of that. Relaps...old habits die hard. Maybe they never die just keep going doing the same damn bad shit to myself. Here I go again building up the prison. I put a brick more on the other day. It's so easy to forget why you were going to be strong. And then your weak again and remember oh yea the pain that's why I was going to stop. Can someone buy me will power for christams? Please that's all I want :)

Dear self,

2004-12-05T21:21:55Z

It was fun to open pandora's box. Was is now the key word. Something starts out being fun and you think that you can control it. Then one day after all you strength is used on damage control you realize..you no longer control it..but it controls you. My heart is a prison. Why cant I ever protect myself? How did I think that this would end? Why dont I care about the long term? It's alway instant gratification for me. I know how this will end but I do it anyway. My whole life I know how this will end but I never care. That is until it catches up with me. Now my secret over welms me. Pandora's box is spliting at the seams. Things I never even worried about are coming up. I can't control it anymore...I never could. I have no one to blame but myself. I could spend all my time tring to control it and lead it in the direction I want but it will slip out of my hands i know it. I can see it all now. Fucking all of it. What am I so worried about anyway.. All it can do is hurt right? I can deal with hurt..it's not so scary..just painful. I have to stop..........I know that now. If I can stop now and just fall back and let it go, then the pain will fade I hope. If I kept going it would be worse I know it. It's so hard to let go I have no idea how bad it's going to get and what will happen but I have to. IT hurts so bad already the sooner I move on the better. Ill need will power which I have none of but I do have strength and a high pain tolerance. I can do it I have no other choice...Its pain now or later. Ha HA Ah....ah...............theres nothing like no other choice to make you do the right thing. Ok i'm letting go...right now..right now..breath just breath..Some people spend all of their time building prisons for themselves..I never thought that I would be one of them..But I am
Not anymore taking it down brick but brick and there will always be drugs to numb the pain..yea drugs
I will no longer let this secret eat me alive. I'm pushing it deep down into my falt and dealing with the pain.
P.S. Self..dont worry I'll take better care of you from now on..I promise